Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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