when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Randomize
