The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
this will be a night to untag.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Randomize
