that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
