Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
ugly people sure do ruin things
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
