You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He did a backflip because drugs
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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