i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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