My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize