I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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