Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
