Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
