Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
