oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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