i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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