the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
