Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
