i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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