Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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