If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
