Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
