you guys were way drunker than both of me
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
