I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
