Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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