Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
