"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
