Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
