I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
