Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
