i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
