I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The air was thick with penises
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
we should paint friendship bongs
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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