if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
