There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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