you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize