Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
