Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
