Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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