Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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