apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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