just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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