Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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