And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Randomize
