i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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