i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I think my moral compass just broke
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
