I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
