just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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