It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
