Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
