do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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