The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize