Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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