I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
