She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
