Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
