Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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