I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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