I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
should my penis look like a turkey
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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