Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
