Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
