I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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