Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm way too hungover for life right now
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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