this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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