I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize