Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
