do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize